i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
