I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize