Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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