No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
