There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
id be glad to
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize