So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
