yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
