I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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