Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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