he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
