Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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