You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
