O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I need a beard to bite.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
