@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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