You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
