The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
