Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
