My nipple is on Facebook.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
