i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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