My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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