ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
