Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
