Nicole vs. Life
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize
