literally had 100 drinks last night.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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