why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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