Cold hands, warm shart.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
