Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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