Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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