Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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