i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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