Non-Jews are for practice
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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