You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
