Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i came on her dog
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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