i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
