Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
