my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize