We're facebook friends in real life
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
