I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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