Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
