We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
