last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
