The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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