You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
