Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
