so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My vagina is officially offended.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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