she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
