Redeem this text for a blowjob
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize