Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
