Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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