Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
