fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize