You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
