If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
