he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
