So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
