Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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