I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
