i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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