I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
