ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize