it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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