Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize