you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
