i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
