Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
