I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize