the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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