used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
