Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
