ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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