I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Who died my cat blue again?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
